Saturday, November 29, 2008

A little late.

I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving. I did. It went off without a hitch. I ate too much...of course. And will stare grudgingly at the left-overs in our fridge, because I don't want to eat that much again for a long time. Traditions...

I wanted to use this blog to say specific things that I'm thankful know, in the spirit of the holidays:
-I am thankful to God for putting up with my constant crap.
-I am thankful to God for providing me with a job, especially in the time we are living in.
-I am thankful to God that I have a roof over my head and food in my belly.
-I am thankful to God for my friends.
-I am thankful to God for my family; specifically:
-My mom for being a strong woman, and for being brave. And always putting our needs before her own.
-My dad for showing us that hard work does pay off and for encouraging us to get an education.
-My sister for truly caring about us. She is sincere and I am grateful to her for that. 
-My brother for showing me how to go against the flow. I envy his courage.

-Lastly, I am thankful to God for continuing to light my path and guide my feet. And to all the wonderful blessings I have yet to uncover.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008


All is well. God is good.

Yesterday went great for my mom. Apparently her teacher will not give her a letter of recommendation. And she did not say why. However, the school's principal and her advisor from U of M are going to give her a letter of recommendation. So we can see who is wrong in this situation.

And starting tomorrow, my mom will be floating to other classrooms and other grades to help in those classrooms. So after today, she no longer has to work with her teacher. AND this teacher will never be getting another student from U of M. Hopefully the principal is smart and doesn't give her another student teacher, ever. 

I'm so glad this is over. There was a noticeable difference in my mom last night. And she even said herself that she felt like the weight of the world was lifted off her shoulders. It's sad b/c I know she'll miss the kids in the classroom. And I know those kids looked to my mom for safety because the teacher is so wretched.
Thanks for your prayers everyone! My entire house appreciates it :)

Monday, November 24, 2008

Prayer request.

Hello friends-
I am sending a prayer request into the blogosphere. 

My mom has been student teaching this semester. Long story short, her teacher has belittled her to the point of her just giving up. She does not want to go into the school anymore. Her spirit has been taken away from her. Which is so sad to me because she loves the kids so much. 

Tomorrow her advisor is making a surprise appearance in the classroom to have a meeting with my mom and the teacher. My mom is literally afraid of what will happen when the advisor leaves. This teacher does not respect my mom the way she absolutely deserves. I want to tell this woman off so bad. 

It is so not fair. At all. My mom has worked so hard for this that it pains me to see this happen to her.

So please pray that my mom has the strength to stand up for herself, and that this teacher stops treating my mom the way she is. I'm sure my mom could out-teach half the teachers out there and this has to stop. 

Okay, so please pray that my mom makes it through these next couple of weeks and that this teacher will stop doing what she's's terrible.

Alrighty, thanks blog people :)

ps-if you know my mom, don't mention that I did this, I'm not sure how she would react. 

Thursday, November 20, 2008


I finished my training for my job today. Which basically means they are throwing me to the to speak. Three days of showing me how to do paper work and role-playing interview techniques apparently makes me qualified to go straight out as a social worker.

I am a little nervous about all this. My college education did not prepare me for this kind of job. A criminal justice degree is definitely NOT a social work degree. I am sure I will do fine though. On-the-job training...rock on.

I am having a difficult time giving up the things about my life that I got so used to that I can't really do anymore. Like staying up late just hanging out. It's so sad. Last night I stayed out until midnight and I am so TIRED today. And in a little bit I am going to see the midnight show of Twilight (WOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!) and I have to be at a home visit at 10:30 tomorrow morning in Detroit. SOOOOO Long story short, I'm gunna pass out tomorrow night or perhaps tomorrow at work. Good times. Being responsible is silly.

Ok, that's all I got right now. I'm just killing time before being stupid and going to the midnight show of Twilight. 

Peace and love to you all. :)

Sunday, November 16, 2008


I knew I had something to post here. I'd been thinking about it all day. And now that I am here. I forget. Go figure. 

I have been writing a lot of things in my moleskin journal I just purchased for such times that I have a head full of thoughts and nowhere to place them. It was in there, and no longer in my head. I'll get to the later I suppose.

My weekend was okay. Both of my parents were gone on Friday night, so instead of being a social butterfly, I stayed in, alone to enjoy to the time I had to myself. (I never get alone time, so I cherished it). I made myself stir fry and rice and watched two movies. The house was so quiet. Except for my dog, who I had to kick off my bed three times that night just so I could become uncramped. Just to have him get right in my face and stare at me as if to say "Can I come back up now?" Pathetic.

Saturday night I got to spend with my college roommate Rachel. Sometimes I forget how awesome she is. I wished we lived closer. She is definitely the sanity I need in my life. We are so alike in many ways, but we are so different. She listens to me. I mean, just listens, and lets me talk, and doesn't interject with how much worse her life is, or how what I'm going through isn't as bad as what she is going through, or tries to take away the glory of things I accomplish. Just listens. I really appreciate that about her. Maybe we need to find a place like the good 'ol days..

I need to  make some changes in my life. I believe we as people need to be constantly improving ourselves, and I will admit, that sometimes I just coast. I don't want to just coast. I want to become a better person everyday of my life. I want be closer to God every single day. Which is sometimes difficult when you feel like things aren't going the way YOU want them to go. Which is selfish and now what God expects from you, but hey, I'm only human. I need to stop thinking about the way I think my life SHOULD be going and improve on the life I have now. Dwelling on my "should be" life isn't helping me get anywhere now. I need to remember to thank God for what I do have. 

Alrighty-I'm gunna go read.

Peace and love to you all.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

One reason why I blog.

I can't remember if I have blogged about this before. I know I meant to, but I can't remember if I ever got around to it.

I am blogging on why I blog. 

I have been "blogging" since I was in high school. Technically. I had an Open Diary. And then came along MySpace. And now I'm here on blogger. Mostly b/c I have some friends on here and it's not Myspace. 

I blog because I am not very good at expressing myself. There is a lot to me that people don't see, or hear. I feel like when I talk about myself beyond surface level, that people tune me out. I know that's not true, but sometimes I feel like that is how it goes. I surround myself with people who have big personalities, and I guess I feel like blogging is way for me to express myself to people who are willing to read. 

If people don't want to know about me, then they won't read. And my personality is not big enough to even begin to compete with others who do have those big personalities. And I don't really have it in me to fight for that attention. I don't feel I should have to fight to have people notice me.. If someone wants to get to know me, they will. By asking me questions and act interested. As opposed to acting like they are listening, or start to listen and then turn the conversation back on them (that last one happens to me A LOT...more than anyone would probably even imagine). 

And I am not going to lie, it is a struggle to get people to listen to me. No idea why, but it is. SO I blog. It's a great way for shy, quiet personalities to express themselves in an avenue where people have your full attention.

Ok I'm done. 

As a side note: my sheepdog is taking up almost my entire bed and I have idea how I'm going to get to sleep, lol. Wish me luck :)

Monday, November 10, 2008


I have a check list for myself. Things I want to see, do, accomplish. Well, it's not an actual written out list, just some things I think about from time to time.

The major ones being the usual: graduate, get a job, get married, have kids,etc.  My list spans out to adopting a child, doing missions work in a third world county (preferably somewhere in Africa), doing more mission work right here in the US, moving back to Grand Rapids, or out of Michigan altogether, seeing tornado, etc. (Sorry, I had to throw the tornado thing in there, they are AWESOME).

Aside the unusual list of things, I am heading in the right direction. I graduated college. I have a career starting job. You know, something I can build off from. I am missing that one thing. The guy. The holiday season always makes me think of the guy. The guy I should be spending my holiday season with, the guy who will help me decorate the Christmas tree, the guy who I spend hours looking for the perfect present for, the guy who will listen to me ramble on about how awesome Christmas is, the guy who will lay around with me all day on Thanksgiving after eating too much and watch movies or football. 

I know he's out there. Sometimes I feel like I miss out on these things and it's my own fault for not being more outgoing or social than I am. Sometimes I am scared of life. Scared of what it's going to be like when I meet that person. Scared of the possibility of missing out on meeting that person. Just a coward, basically. I don't throw myself out there like I should. I am too scared of how people will react. 

It's silly and I'm not looking for any confidence boosting comments. Please. I just have been thinking about this. It's weird how snowfall, and cold weather effects how my brain functions. Seriously. 

I know 'the guy' is out there. And God will bring us together. I just need to trust that He will, and have the confidence to be who I am always. 

Saturday, November 8, 2008


I have been thinking a lot lately about a lot of things. That happens occasionally and the holiday season really triggers my thoughtfulness. 

Here is one for you all. I went to Starbucks this evening. I had been craving caffeine all day. I am very tired today for some reason, but that is beside the point. So I went to the Starbucks and I noticed that the parking lot was somewhat busy, which can be normal. And then I went inside and there were a lot of people, again, not uncommon. Then I realized that all those people were waiting for their drinks. And then I noticed the poor barista who was making all of the drinks by himself. I felt terrible for him. I knew that he must know that all those people are irritated with him. So I ordered my drink and waited patiently, while I could see all the people growing more and more impatient. 

I  was texting people while I waited and Britts in all her wisdom stated all the people shouldn't get irritated just because a lot of other people had the same idea as they did. Which is such an awesome way to look at it.

Regardless, it is so sad that we have come to the point where we get so annoyed that we have to wait for our speciality, over-priced coffee beverages. When did Starbucks become such a high priority on our "things to get annoyed about waiting for" list. I have been at my job a week, and I have seen things that make me think SO much about what we are placing our priorities in. God did not create us to get angry at baristas who are not moving fast enough for us. People should be walking around annoyed and angry that there are people going without meals just so their children can eat. People who aren't eating because they are waiting for their food stamps to become valid. Those people aren't angry they have to wait. They are grateful that they are getting food stamps at all. We should be standing in Starbucks in gratefulness. We are blessed people, regardless of what you think you need and don't have. 

At first I was scared to do this job. Now I am grateful to God for allowing me to work in such an impoverished area. It is really opening my eyes to how bad things have become. I hope that God will use me to aide these families according to His will and that it will open MY eyes to how blessed we really are. And I hope I can continue to communicate this effectively to the people around me. I think it's something we are really missing. Since we don't see it, we don't acknowledge it. But I am seeing it and it is making me sad. SO I apologize if I'm all in your face about the things I'm seeing, but I feel God wants people to know. I will do my best to inform. :)

So please remember how much God has blessed your life. I know there will be things you feel are unfair, but at least you have food to eat, a roof on your head, and pillows to lay your head on. Some people aren't that lucky.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

The hood.

So I've been in the hood at least one time each day this week.

I'm not gunna lie, I sorta like it. Aside from the dangerous parts of it, the culture surrounding the people who grow up in those times of neighborhoods is awesome. Today at work some girls were talking about "soul food". I've had soul food and it is delicious. Those of us who grew up in the suburbs don't have those sorts of things. I think we are missing something. Our neighborhoods and communities don't have those sorts of things to bring us together. And it's not just the food. It's just that sense of community. They look out for each other in ways that nobody in my neighborhood does. We don't even speak. It's sorta sad.

I wish everyone could be part of a community.

Also another thing. I actually saw the visible line that is on 8 Mile. The idea that one side is the "rich" side and the other side is the "poor" side. I saw that change. It was incredible. Incredible in a bad way.  To see how separated we've become. I really wish it wouldn't be like that. 

I really just want everyone to love each other. Is that really so much to ask??

Okay. I'm done for now. Time to sleep. 

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

The vote.

Well, Obama won. Congratulations to him and all the people who voted for him. It's awesome we will have our first black president. Really, it is.

However, I did not vote for Obama, so I can honestly say I'm a wee bit disappointed. But the people voted and that's all we can ask for, right? I am a little bit nervous to see what will come of this administration. I know the whole "change" talk, but what, REALLY, is that change? I guess we'll find out. That was always my beef with his campaign. "Change we can believe in". Well explain change in a little more detail and I'd be a little more relaxed about the whole thing.

After reading Zombie's blog, I really am sad for our future generation. Since Obama supports abortion to the extreme. I fear for generational homocide. And Zombie was right. Those of use who do not support abortion just need to speak louder about the issue. And that God is still in control, and our country will see Him clearly soon enough. The good and/or the bad. He will not sit silent while we murder our children. 

I am also very surprised about the proposals that passed in Michigan. Very, very surprised. 

Ok. I'm done rattling on about politics. That's all I'll ever say about it. I hate talking about such controversial things in such a "public" way, but that's what's in my head right now. I apologize if anyone doesn't like what I've said, but it's my blog, I can say what I want and you can disagree. That's what makes America, America.

God Bless.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Interesting day.

Well, we all know today is election day. But all I'm going to say about it is that I voted. Good for me. Other than that, I can't wait for this to be over with. I am sick of the negativity over stupid opinions. Our country is way too divided and that makes me sad.

So I've done two days of work so far at my new job. So far, so good. I am doing okay. They threw a lot of information at me in a very short amount of time. But it'll be alright. I actually got my first referral today. Which means I'll have my first case starting tomorrow. AH! But it's all good. I've discovered in the last two days that my job has the potential to be awesome. I guess each of my families gets $500 for me to get them what they need. For example, if the family does not have a washer...I can get them a washer. If they need some help getting groceries, I can take them grocery shopping, if they need a refrigerator, I get them that. Or today, I went with a co-worker to shadow and my co-worker used the money to get them bus passes and winter coats for the girls. I am WAY excited for that part. 

I am tired already though. And I need to get a GPS. I will get lost in D-Town for sure. And that's probably not the best thing. 

OH and today, I saw a dead body. Oh yeah. I was out with my co-worker and her client, and the road we needed to walk down was blocked off by police cars. We went around and the fuzz told us we needed to go around because it was a crime scene. Some dude on the street near where we were going told us that there was an officer was chasing some guy on a motorcycle who wasn't pulling over, and the motorcycle dude hit a pedestrian. We saw the aftermath of this. And the bodies were still in the street. Covered up by yellow tarps. So yeah. Detroit has something to offer everyday. And I've noticed that every single street I've been done has at least one burnt house. Crazy.

But despite all this, I really sorta like and enjoy Detroit. I know it can be not safe, but it's pretty much falling apart. But I like it in it's dilapidated state. The people are awesome too. The culture is really different and I enjoy it. The not safe individuals, I don't so much like, obviously. But anyways. That was a rant.

Alright. I'm gunna go watch Dirty Jobs. 


Sunday, November 2, 2008

New Leaf.

So tomorrow. I start my job. I am very nervous. Any type of big life changes make me really nervous. I don't know how to handle it.

I know it will be okay. It will be transition, it will take some time getting used to. My life is going to change. The biggest thing I'm going to have trouble with is not being able to stay out until 2am. I know that's so weird, but it's something I'm used to and really enjoy. I love my nights out. 

I don't even really know what to say except that I'm really nervous about my job. I will keep everyone updated on how things are going and such. 

Ok. That's it. I just need everyone to pray for me. And that I'll learn to trust that God knows what is good for me and try not to be so nervous. AH.

I'm done. Adios.