Sunday, October 16, 2011

Done.



So guys.

I did it.

I completed 13.1 miles of running in the Detroit Half Marathon. And I would be lying to you if I said I wasn't so completely happy and proud.

I've never been much of a competitor. And even still, I completed the half marathon in 2:45:11. That's not a very "competitive" time, it's about a 12 min/mile. I'm perfectly happy with this.

My goodness. I am so tired. My day started at 4:45am, after not much sleep. I was in a wedding yesterday and I got home late and was all hyped up, so I had to calm myself quite a bit before I could fall asleep. Even then, my heart was pounding while I was lying in bed. I got myself so worked up.

I was very nervous before the start of the race. I tried to focus on the positive energy of the people around me, which as helpful. Being around all those people who are trying to accomplish the same thing you are is really exciting. The mood of the event was great overall.

As a part of the half and full marathon you run across the Ambassador Bridge over to Windsor, and you come back through the tunnel to get back into the city. The bridge was really cool. It was fun to run over the river and get to see all the good views. The incline onto the bridge was pretty intense but I set myself a good pace and took my time. The tunnel, on the other hand, was rather miserable. My feet and legs were getting tired at that point, and the air in the tunnel was so hot and stale. I have to say that was my least favorite part of the run.

Around mile 10, I got a good burst of energy. I think it was the group handing out the M&Ms to all the runners :) The last 3 miles were really awesome. I felt great and happy and a rush has I got closer to the finish line.

AH! I can't believe this is actually done. I'm SO happy I've done this. Not many people I know have. I just feel a real sense of accomplishment and pride that I've actually set out to do something and completed it, so easily. I don't feel like this very often. And I kinda like it :)

Now, bring on next year!!!


Tuesday, October 11, 2011

To the ladies: On being single and Christian.

I written blogs like this previously. But God has laid it on my heart, so I'm thinking this is where it needs to come out.

I'm a Christian. I'm almost 27 (EEK). I am single. Not kinda single, but straight up, in your face, single.

I have to be honest here. I've had a few moments of self pity. Moments where I wanted nothing more than to be with someone. To have that companionship. But if I'm being REALLY honest with myself and you people, that rarely happens.

For a while there, I thought I HAD to be in a moment of singledom panic. Because that's what we're supposed to do, right? The "I'm fast approaching 30, no end in sight, what am I DOING with my life??!" kind of panic.

I'm not panicking though.

Girls, we're fed this lie. This horrible, defeating lie. This lie that we don't have anything until we have a man. What is this horrible thing and where did it start? This idea has destroyed so much of who we are and what we are capable of doing as single ladies, that it breaks my heart. The goal, it seems, is to keep on constant watch and wait for the next man in our lives. What IS this?

It's a waste. That's what it is. A waste of time, a waste of energy, a waste of the precious gift of life God has given us. We're meant to live. To be free.

And please. Have standards. Don't lower what you want to fit what you can get. I won't lower my standards to fill some stupid hole that society tells me I should have.

Ladies, be single. Own it. Don't let that define your life. Don't let it bring you down. You can experience so much life. So much life that you're missing.  One day you'll look back and think to yourself, "I'm glad I had that time to figure out who I am as an individual". Let God be your companion. He will comfort and hold you in a way that a boy never could. God will carry your burdens, your hardships.

Sorry for the muddled rant. Like I said, God has had this on my heart for a while now. And I needed to get it out. It bothers me to see girls hurting because they feel like that have no worth as a single woman.

I'm telling you now. You have SO much worth. SO much. You just have to find in yourself.




Monday, October 3, 2011

Bubbles.

We all live in bubbles.

You didn't know?

I have given this a lot of thought over time. I have my own bubble. My own existence. My thoughts and my heart and my knowledge and my beliefs are all in this bubble. Now, people are included partially in this bubble. Some more than others. And those people all have their bubbles, that I'm also a part of. I'm pretty cautious with my bubble. Too scared that someone is going to take what is inside it and use it for their own good, or to hurt me. Others have an open door bubble. Awesomely transparent. Personally, I can't live with my bubble this way. I want to keep some of it to myself. Save it for someone who is going to take it and love me for it, regardless. God lives in and out of my bubble. All at the same time. Because it's God, and He's more great than I can ever try to put into words.

When you're around people, your bubbles co-exist. And this is what has always gotten me. When I leave you, my bubble goes on, and so does yours. Existing entirely outside of each other, but always aware that you are out there somewhere. For example, after I leave a friend, I go home, or go wherever, 100% aware of myself and my actions and what I'm doing. But that other person is doing the same exact thing outside your awareness and bubble. It's so strange to me. Like I can think of any of my friends at this given moment and picture where they are or what they are doing with absolutely no certainty if that is at all correct. Or my friends could think of me or picture me in my current state, without any certainty if they are correct. But in your or my own mind's eye, that is reality. When it's not.

Then there are these other bubbles floating around with you that you have no connection to, whatsoever. Bubbles with their own thoughts, beliefs, etc. I could be sitting next to someone at a red light, and they exist in their own world, their own bubble, completely separate and unrelated to me. Yet for that brief second, we find our bubbles co-existing. In one small moment.

Are you following? Probably not. I wonder if there is a philosophical science or name to anything I'm talking about right now. Most likely. Anyways. I had this conversation with someone last week and discovered I'm not the only one who thinks about these things. Kinda comforting knowing you're not the only crazy person around.

God Bless