Thursday, February 25, 2010

The fight.

I have always considered myself a lover and not a fighter. I try not to fight or push people in any sort of a way because I do feel it really does not much good in the long run. People just end up hurt or broken.

With that in mind, I was thinking today what it's like when we fight God's will. Christians always say they want God's will in their life, but when it comes down to it, how often to we really go with that flow? I feel I may fight God's will for me more often than I realize.

The past couple of days I've done a lot of thinking about God's will. And how frustrated I get when I pray it for, and find that path, but I'm not happy with it. Find myself saying "Well, God, this isn't what makes me happy right now, so why not give me a little of what I want, and then I'll jump back on the path". That's so stupid. God's will is what He knows is best for me, so why on earth would I want to fight that?

My life overall certainly has not turned out how I've expected it to. This is something I dwell on a lot. And most days is really frustrating and somewhat upsetting, however when I really meditate on it, I'm glad things aren't always what I expect. How boring would life be if we had everything we anticipated we would? So very boring.

I thought by now I'd have it all figured out. I will not lie to you people, I still have no idea what I want out of life and I'm so glad for all the possibilities I have. Call me a late bloomer, but I guess that's just the way God wanted it to be. God knows what He wants from me in my time here on earth, and I suspect it's not time yet for me to really see what that is. For now, I'm on the path. Not to say I won't fall off of it, because I have and I will because I am a human full of sin and I will make mistakes.

But for now, I'm open to whatever life has to throw at me. I'm in love with the idea that my life is so full of possibilities, it's amazing. Recently after I've realized this, I've become open to so many things. Things I would have turned down in the past. Why would I ever limit the short time God has given me on this earth to live? I'm trying really hard to be a spontaneous and joyful person. I like it so far. :)

My point here is this: fighting God's will makes me unhappy. I realized that. And I am SO excited to see the life God has planned for me because I know that as long as I follow His will, I have no limits to the things I can do and accomplish.

So thank you God for always knowing what's best for me even when I don't. And thanks for knowing what is best for everyone else, and my hope is that we will all learn to follow His will in the things that we do.