Through the chaos there is clarity.
Things have become very clear to me in the last couple of days. It's really odd. Don't get me wrong, I definitely love it and I absolutely still have a lot of uncertainties, but nothing seems so bad.
I can honestly say, I'm really happy right now. And I can't even tell you exactly why. Maybe it's because I've finally let God have some control over my life. Let Him lead the way instead of me thinking that I know how things SHOULD be. Which is definitely wrong.
And I can't even tell you what exactly it is that I'm clear about. Because I don't know, things just seem right...who knows what that means for me in the coming months, but I guess we shall see. I guess I'm going to stop expecting things out of life and just go where God tells me to. And stay away from things that I know don't feel right...because that's God flicking me in the brain. And I'm glad I've recognized that. When I have an unsettled feeling, I think I can usually say that is God speaking straight to me.
I just really hope that this feeling lasts. But now that I found it, I can just keep chasing it.