Probably because my aunts, God bless them, will ask me questions. Inquiring minds want to know. And that isn't even bad. They are just interested in my life...I think. Is that so bad?
Then I realize that it is so much easier to type my thoughts into this blog because I know that not everyone will read them and that even if they do, they won't get commented on. This is comforting to me. I've realized recently that I cannot confide in people. It is so difficult for me to do. Even my friends, even in my unity group (bible study for those of you outside of my realm of friends).
It is impossible for me to keep the topic of conversation on myself for any longer than 2 minutes because I start to feel really uncomfortable. I am beginning to wonder if that is normal. A lot of my friends and people I know can rattle on about themselves for extended periods of time. Which is fine, I'm not saying that's bad. I mean, I do that here, on this blog. But, face-to-face interaction regarding myself is so freaking impossible for me to do. Especially with important stuff. There are and were things that I should be sharing with people, for prayer, but I don't. I keep them to myself. I hate attention, and anything being on me for any reason.
I am not posting this because I want any sort of attention. That is actually the opposite of anything I'd ever want. I just am starting to think that I've stumbled upon a personality flaw. It's the same for when anybody compliments or thinks me capable or whatever. I cannot take it. I'm the only person who seems to think that I am not capable of this job I got. Everyone has said nothing but wonderful things to me and about me in the process and my own self-doubt is shoving it away. So I'm trying to take all the good things people say about me to heart. And am trying to believe them.
So turns out I'm a weirdo just like everyone else. :)
And that, my friends, is very comforting. Also that God is great, awesome, amazing, all of the above. That is definitely something I can ALWAYS rely on.
3 comments:
So glad you love Twilight too! I can't wait till the movie and yes I am crazy about it as well. I watch the trailers like once a week!
Bible study this week at my pad 7 p.m. Your email came back to me. I must still have it wrong. So sorry! Hope you can make it!
I let not my mother know either about my blog. She worries and get offended by things that have nothing to do with her. So to preserve our very delicate relationship, I post in secret, and for the most part anonymously. Only a handful of people on here know my real name outside of Zombie. I like it that way.
unfortunately my family members found us out and got offended by some of the ways we term things... it's tough I want to share with family, but writing things seems to come out different than saying actual words so offenses seem easier in writing than face to face.
Umm "Zombie" all of your outgoing e-mails say "if you want to know more about me visit zombiehaven@blogspot.com" I think you lost your anonymity
this was a ramble
Post a Comment