I really dislike when reality comes crashing down on me. I coast by doing okay and then suddenly I'm not. It's so strange.
I can't shake my want to go back to school for something less stressful than the career path I'm heading down right now. I started out in child welfare...I don't want to be categorized as that for my life. I am very scared that since this is where I have experience, that this is where I will stay. I do not want to stay in child welfare. As rewarding as it can be, no one really understands how taxing it can be, unless you work in child welfare as well. And I can't really explain how taxing it can be without feeling like I'm breaking the rules of confidentiality.
I want to move. I want to find the PERFECT job somewhere that's not here. Most days I feel like downriver and the Detroit area in general really just sucks the life out of me. Granted: I do think it Detroit is an awesome city...I mean, it really has potential. But on the other hand, the bad definitely outweighs the good and it takes real effort to see the good things. And I apologize to everyone who is sick of me talking about this, but it's just part of me and the struggles I deal with on a day-to-day basis.
One a good note: I will say that here in this dreary place, I know some pretty amazing people and thank God that He's given me the gift of knowing these amazing people, b/c sometimes I don't think I deserve them. As I feel about most gifts from God...that I don't deserve anything He wants to give to me. So it's not the people that make me miserable here, it's the place and the circumstances.
Oh, maybe I need to shut up about moving and be thankful to God for all that he has provided me. Because I am more blessed than I recognize on most days. That's the biggest thing I've learned from my job. It's when you see actually see the lacking of your blessings in others lives that you start to realize how blessed you really, truly are.
So. Thank you God for everything You have given me and continue to give me.
4 comments:
Don't tell yourself to shut up. However, you mustn't move!
Sorry Anonymous, but I only agree with half of your statement. If your truly not happy with where you are in life, then perhaps a change is needed. Anon's right in saying "don't tell yourself to shut up," but if everything in you says you'll be happier if you move, then maybe that is exactly what you need.
Just keep in mind that maybe that perfect somewhere isn't so different from anywhere else and sometimes the people you leave behind end up meaning more than the change in geography.
Just about everyone knows who "anonymous" is. Steve you know him, don't buy into his mystery.
As for his comment, I agree with you. It would suck to see you go, but you may have too. I'm struggling with the same thoughts as of late. But "the grass is always greener" mentality only works until you get there 9 out of 10 times.
Unless you've already been there and know that the grass is greener.
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