Run away (and marathon stuff)

I am beginning to come to the realization that my immediate reaction to everything is to just run away. Physically or in my mind. Retreat is the answer.

I've become pretty good at mentally retreating. Definitely not something I should be proud of, and I'm not. Not talking is my defense mechanism, which I suppose typically goes unnoticed since I have a habit of not talking that much anyways. I have this intense fear of speaking up for myself. In all honesty, it's probably my biggest fear. Close second is being alone, but that's so cliche, it's not even worth mentioning.

Speaking of the fear of being alone. Online dating attempt number three is, no surprise, turning into a huge fail. Surprised? I'm not. There was one dude, but yeah, that didn't pan out. Everyone else is just old or creepy. And finding Christian's on Match or any others is virtually impossible.

It's all very weird. This dating thing. Boys and girls and how they interact. I'm pretty much over trying to figure out what's going on in boys brains. Why can't we just spit it out? Say what we're really thinking? Why all the guessing games? I don't understand it. Seems like a waste of time.

Another weird thing. About me. I'm fairly happy with myself right now. I'm just bored with life. A boy would make things interesting, moving would make things interesting, traveling to Europe would make things interesting, training for a marathon would makes things interesting. OH WAIT, I'm actually having some luck with that one.

On that note: Marathon update.
Turns out the marathon is the day after a wedding I'm in. I will be taking contraband into the wedding in the form of lots of water, and whatever else I should be consuming the day before.

My mom is pretty freaked out by the whole idea. She's heard too many horror stories, so I'm going to get a physical at some point to ease her mind.

I did my first regular run on Saturday. I've only been doing intervals for that last couple of months. I pushed out 3 miles which is pretty friggin' good and it was my goal. I was running at about an 11 minute pace, which is good enough for me. I'm not not trying to break any speed records here.

And things just keep getting added to my calendar. I'm exhausted thinking about it. It's gunna be good though. March is going to straight rock. Matt Wertz album, CURLING! (AHH!!!!), Matt Wertz concert. Actually April is looking pretty good too, but March is going to be so swell that I'm not sure April is going to pan out. Except for Chicago, that'll be cool. But after my two busy months, I WILL be buckling down and doing this whole marathon thing. It's happening.

Anyways, I'm done, I'm tired, it's time for bed.
G'NIGHT!