Ideas.

First off: Adam and Dave always have awesome pictures to go with their posts, so I'm steal that idea :D

Occasionally I am inspired by ideas, that never play out, but I think that are amazing. They are rare, I assure you. And more often than not, they are collaborated.

Here are two:
(1) Me and Brittney have an idea for an awesomely amazing cafe. That given the right location, would be a complete hit. We are brilliant, but we are also poor, haha. But I think the combination of baked goods, sandwiches, coffee, and live music would be great. Just sayin'.

(2) I have a great idea for a book too. I don't really want to give the specifics, but I'm seriously tempted to write an outline for it. I'm overly observant and this has given me some insight that centrally-minded people don't usually see. I don't know, I'm tempted. We'll see where that goes.

That's all. : )

Heavy.

Saturday night I was feeling really down on myself. It happens sometimes, as I'm sure it does to everyone else. I was wondering to myself, why is everyone so afraid of change, when it's the one thing I want most right now? Didn't make sense to me.

Then I went to church on Sunday.

You ever have those church services where God is speaking directly to your heart? Where you feel like maybe the message being delivered is specifically for you, and it didn't matter who else was in the room? Yeah, that was me Sunday.

I've had this happen to me before, but not as significantly as it did Sunday. Waiting on the Lord. I've heard this before, and I thought I was doing this, but it appears as if I was failing. Failing miserably. It's as if through Dave's words God was saying "Take a breath, Hillary". It was nice to hear.

It's been a struggle since then, but I'm managing thanks to that little boost I needed to hear.

This idea is heavy on my heart, and I need to work through it. And God knows that. That's why I heard it when and in the way I did.

So thanks God for perfect timing, as it will always be. Thanks Dave for speaking the words. And thanks to everyone who puts up with my whining... *cough*Brittney*cough*

Now I just have to figure out what I should do while I'm waiting on the Lord. Hmm..

Fast.

My week this week has gone surprisingly fast. Which is not typical considering I have so many things to look forward to these next couple of months.

The program I was hired to run finally starts next week. I'm excited and scared at the same time. I have a feeling the kids I will be working with aren't always going to love being around me. As in, they are high need, emotionally. But I hope to create a fun environment for them to be in, therefore allowing me to reach them somehow. My hours are going to be a little screwy also, so I'll have to get used to that.

Since my program is starting next week, it seems time will probably move even faster through this month and next. Which, will be nice since I have fun things to look forward to.

I don't like when time moves slow. I don't like it when it moves fast either. Slow means I have to wait for things, fast means I feel like my short time on this earth is slipping away and what the heck am I doing with myself?

My brain is exhausting.

Maybe I should just chill out and take what is thrown my way in whatever time it takes. Yeah, that sounds good.

Aches and pains.

So far so good with the running.

I did my first "long" run on Saturday and was able to do 3 miles. I was pretty impressed with myself seeing as I haven't ran a normal pace since probably December. I ran at about an 11 min. mile pace. Which is good for me and I'm completely happy with that pace. Everything I've said that when training for a marathon, pick a pace and stick to it. So hello 11 min/mile. We're friends now.

On Saturday I did have some annoying, uncomfortableness in my hips. It didn't really hurt, really, it was just uncomfortable. It was suggested it was a hip flexor problem so I just took it easy for two days and I ran yesterday and it was fine.

My run yesterday went well also. I did 2.5 miles, as a mid-week easy run. This time my shins were hurting, BUT I suppose it's just "growing pains" if you will. I stretched and did some weight training for my legs, so hopefully I can continue to build some strength in my legs so that doesn't continue to be a problem. Shins splints are so obnoxious.

I'm doing a 5K on March 20th, to get in the zone for running outside and in races. Next step is a 10K, but I have to find one. I would really like to run the half marathon in Nashville at the end of April, as was previously suggested, because I love Nashville, but I don't think I'll be ready in time.

Well that was my marathon/running update for today :)

Run away (and marathon stuff)

I am beginning to come to the realization that my immediate reaction to everything is to just run away. Physically or in my mind. Retreat is the answer.

I've become pretty good at mentally retreating. Definitely not something I should be proud of, and I'm not. Not talking is my defense mechanism, which I suppose typically goes unnoticed since I have a habit of not talking that much anyways. I have this intense fear of speaking up for myself. In all honesty, it's probably my biggest fear. Close second is being alone, but that's so cliche, it's not even worth mentioning.

Speaking of the fear of being alone. Online dating attempt number three is, no surprise, turning into a huge fail. Surprised? I'm not. There was one dude, but yeah, that didn't pan out. Everyone else is just old or creepy. And finding Christian's on Match or any others is virtually impossible.

It's all very weird. This dating thing. Boys and girls and how they interact. I'm pretty much over trying to figure out what's going on in boys brains. Why can't we just spit it out? Say what we're really thinking? Why all the guessing games? I don't understand it. Seems like a waste of time.

Another weird thing. About me. I'm fairly happy with myself right now. I'm just bored with life. A boy would make things interesting, moving would make things interesting, traveling to Europe would make things interesting, training for a marathon would makes things interesting. OH WAIT, I'm actually having some luck with that one.

On that note: Marathon update.
Turns out the marathon is the day after a wedding I'm in. I will be taking contraband into the wedding in the form of lots of water, and whatever else I should be consuming the day before.

My mom is pretty freaked out by the whole idea. She's heard too many horror stories, so I'm going to get a physical at some point to ease her mind.

I did my first regular run on Saturday. I've only been doing intervals for that last couple of months. I pushed out 3 miles which is pretty friggin' good and it was my goal. I was running at about an 11 minute pace, which is good enough for me. I'm not not trying to break any speed records here.

And things just keep getting added to my calendar. I'm exhausted thinking about it. It's gunna be good though. March is going to straight rock. Matt Wertz album, CURLING! (AHH!!!!), Matt Wertz concert. Actually April is looking pretty good too, but March is going to be so swell that I'm not sure April is going to pan out. Except for Chicago, that'll be cool. But after my two busy months, I WILL be buckling down and doing this whole marathon thing. It's happening.

Anyways, I'm done, I'm tired, it's time for bed.
G'NIGHT!

Obsessed.

I'm becoming obsessed with the idea of this marathon. I know so many people who blog about their kids, pregnancies, weddings, writing. I love those blogs, you learn lots by reading them. And I finally have something to contribute to that.

The last two days I've been talking to Jason about different marathon techniques and advice, as well as reading a lot online about such things and here is what I've come up with so far.

First things first, I need to change my eating habits. I'm in the process of that now and I failed yesterday (cupcake and ice cream, but am doing a little better over all. I will no go a week without hitting Subway, so I've successfully switched from ranch to sweet onion. Which, by the way, is SOO good. I also bought some almonds. Some coco coated kind, and cinnamon honey roasted. Delicious.

Second, I think I need to maybe get down a little in the weight area before I start the hardcore training around May. I'm not complaining about my weight and I don't think I'm fat. I'm just at the higher end of where I'd like to be and I feel like it'd be easier to train if I trimmed up a bit.

That's what I'm working on right now. Today for lunch I have a peanut butter and banana sandwich w/ wheat bread, yogurt, and some almonds. It's probably not enough, but I'm not like hardcore training yet, so I'll be fine.

I'm doing my first normal run tomorrow. The goal is three miles, so we'll see how that goes.

I'll keep you all updated.

I'm doing it.

Hey guys.

I'm doing it. I'm running a marathon.

Eek.

A friend texted me after I posted my last blog and convinced me to do it. He's done marathons, so I suppose I trust him that I could do this :P

I'm actually really excited. There is a lot to this process. It'll definitely be a challenge, but I'm really looking forward to being able to say, "Hey, I ran a marathon". And like I said before, I've been wanting to do it forever now and it's about time I actually put my words into action.

So I guess I can put this blog to some actual constructive use and use it to keep everyone updated on what I'm doing, training-wise as well as little nutritional tricks I pick up along the way.

Anyways, that's all. I just wanted to update everyone and when I actually start the official training, I'll let you all know how it's going.

:)

The Marathon.

I've got that inkling again.

The desire that comes back every year around this time since I was in college.

I have an intense desire to run a marathon. Not a half marathon, a full, 26.2 mile marathon.

I need to do this, I think. If the desire keeps coming back, it just seems like something that needs to be done.

For me, it is the biggest physical challenge I could ever complete. I just need to really be serious about it to do it. I've got some time to think and pray about it.

I might as well do it while I'm still young, and can.

Alrighty, that was all.