I am a bit perplexed about something. Go figure...
For quite some time now, I've felt that where I am now, is not where God wants me to stay. At the moment, things are going well for me here. God is using me through my job and my responsibilities at my church. But there is just this thing in my brain that keeps telling me to leave. I've got an itch to go someplace new, someplace different.
I'm perplexed because I do not know where that is, or how to get there. Or if that is even God telling me that or my own heart's discontent. And it worries me because I do not know if there is something different I should be doing to take these steps that I"m just not seeing. Something God wants me to do but I'm not doing. Not out of rebellion, but out of, just, ignorance or distraction.
It seems that within the next year things are going to be really different around the 'ol homestead. Lots of people making big choices and moves in their lives and I hate to see them go, but I'm happy for them. Happy that their lives are moving, and God is moving. Makes me think I NEED to be moving. And soon.
I don't know if I have the courage to go far. By myself. I'm terrible at making friends and it's taken me this long to really make good ones here. Nothing can stay the same, as it shouldn't. And I'm glad it's not, happy, in fact.
I need some direction. I need to know where and when I should be making my steps. God will guide me. Otherwise I wouldn't know what the heck to do. And I'm glad He's there, otherwise I wouldn't know what to do.
I think I may start looking for jobs in other cities. Maybe outside of Michigan and I know I've said this before but maybe I'll actually do it this time and if it's God's will then He will open doors for me. I know this for a fact.
So just pray that God will reveal His path for me. So I know what direction I need to be moving in...
3 comments:
How I love your posts. But you make me wonder if you have ever seen the movie "It's a Wonderful Life." Some people find it cheesy, but the core idea of the film is essential. If you are really "meant" to "go," then I hope you go with grace. But, as someone who cares about you, I hope you simply let love lead -- your love for God and for people -- let it lead your steps. I know you seek to do this now. But the thing is, if this love takes you somewhere besides where you are, then that's great. But if it only takes you around the block and back again, then that's great too. That is not a bad thing. I'll say what you already know: Where we are matters very little in the long run compared to who we are.
thanks dave :)
I don't know if it helps but I know how you feel. I have felt "off" being here for awhile now. I struggle to find God's direction for myself. But like you wrote, he will open the doors for you if it's what he wants or he will close them like he has some for me.
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