How come society defines us by everything else other than who we are as people? By our looks, our clothes, our weight, the food we eat, the music we listen to, the school we went to, etc. The list goes on.
Why does all of that matter? And it does. I was at a wedding once. I was sitting at a table with other individuals my age. And before they even asked my name, they asked "so what kind of music do YOU listen to?" In a snobby way. I felt instantly frozen. I felt whatever came out of my mouth at that moment was going to define me for the rest of the evening. Luckily someone else chimed in and I was spared being placed in a box, labeled.
I shouldn't gripe about this, because I feel like I'm socially stunted and these kinds of topics seem SO easy to talk about. I want to know why it isn't really acceptable to dive deep into the heart of who we really are as people, upon first or second meeting. It seems taboo to talk about deep things in our lives unless we know a person very well. I feel like we need to be the core of who we are at the very beginning, so we don't have to break down the barriers others have placed around us by their perceptions. Perceptions based on all those things I mentioned in the first paragraph. Sure. Those things are part of who we are, but they aren't the whole of us.
What about our childhoods? The moments who define us. The experiences that have taught us? The fact that I went to GVSU isn't who I am, it's the experiences I had there that do. But I can't wear those on a t-shirt.
I'm kind of on a soapbox about this right now. It just seems strange to me that we would limit our knowing of others. I know people and they know me. But they don't KNOW me. It's partially my fault, but the other part is that maybe I feel like they don't really care to know anymore about me than what they see in front of them. That's why it was kind of terrifying to write that last blog. People don't know me like that. Vulnerable, open, honest, hurting. You wouldn't know that about me by knowing I like acoustic music, or that I drive a Saturn.
I don't know if this makes any sense. It's one of those things that I've got tumbling around in my brain. The idea, the concept, in my brain is perfectly logical, but thrown out into cyberspace, it may seem a little jumbled. Sorry about that. :) Hopefully there are some tiny molecules of sense in there.
1 comment:
You hunger, like all of us, for real relationships with people. But the sad truth is that if we all opened our hearts up so fast, across the board, then we'd tear each other apart because we are fallen, broken, human beings who are for ourselves until we're given a compelling reason or a compelling emotion to be for something besides ourselves. Even our honesty can be about our own sense of dignity or purpose than about the people we're communicating with. Fallen people need a little time to get past ourselves and be there for others for their own good. Fallen people need time to adjust to the fallen nature of others, because it reminds us too much of the reality that we are fallen too. Fallen people judge by exteriors because it's quick and easy in a world where quick and easy are considered virtues. -- Who can see your heart? Only God. Everyone else is guessing.
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