26.

I'm 26 today.

What.

Everyone keeps telling me I shouldn't feel old. And I guess I don't. 26 just seems weird to me.

I don't feel 26. I certainly don't ACT 26. Then why be 26? Really.

I learned a few year back to stop anticipating things by a certain age. And I don't. I actually don't anticipate much anymore. Especially things I have no control over. Makes life more exciting and interesting.

So this afternoon, I will complete case notes in my sweatpants, slippers and new fleece blanket. Eat Halloween sized Kit Kats, listen to some tunes and kind of relax. And tonight, I will refuse to act my age and play Rock Band 3 with my favorite people in the whole world for 5 hours straight, eat too much food and just enjoy life.

And God will smile at this.

Online Dating: A Confession.

I have a confession to make. Something I've been kind of hiding from everyone except a select few for a while.

I'm... a ninja. haha yeah, right. Just kidding. I'm too clumsy to be a ninja.

But seriously, I do have a secret. Over the summer I became quite sick of being single. More so than the usual. I'm turning 26 this month and I don't want to become a spinster, cat lady. I know, I know, I'm still young, but seriously. I've been single forever and a day now. Soo... with much hesitation and a big push from my brother, I decided to try out online dating.

It's an odd thing, this online dating. I do not like it, for one. It's so impersonal. What happened to the 'ol fashioned boy meets girl at coffee shop or girl meets boys while perusing the local bookstore? Or casual friends realize there is more there? Or friends setting up blind dates? Where have those times gone??? F'reals.

I'm horrible with the online dating. Every profile looks the same. It's like a resume, for a partner. It all seems fluffed up. No honesty, no unique-ness.

Maybe I'm just turning into a cynic. Online dating works for some people and that's so great for them. We have a wonderful knew addition to our family because of online dating. I really feel like it's just not working for me. But then, I'm left with this question... what else is there for me to do??? I've been told I need to "Put myself out there". What the crap does that mean people?!? I don't know. I attempt to pursue what I feel are prospects, but I've had no luck. Sometimes I think I'm not obvious enough, but then I don't want to seem needy (I'm so not), so I stop after a couple of failures.


So. I'm done ranting. I'm glad to have made this confession. I know in the long run, no matter what I do, what site I join, who I may have little crushes on, God makes this decision. I'm conflicted with how much God interferes, I can't just sit here and expect Mr. Right to knock on my front door and say "God sent me here for you". That's not how things happen.

So. What now?