without.

I was pondering something yesterday. That perhaps, isn't something to ponder, but I thought it was effective for me. I was wondering to myself what my life would be or how I would be if I didn't know Christ.

I would like to think I'd still be compassionate, still be wanting to change the world and show others love, but you can never be too sure. I would like to think I'd still want to wait for marriage for certain things, and I would like to think that I would think of others first instead of trying to move up for myself in life.

I can hope I'd still me. BUT I know I would feel so hopeless in the meantime. I have gone through things, and felt things that I know I wouldn't be able to make it through without God's protection and grace. I know I wouldn't. I can't really even think of how I would handle life if I didn't know God was right there at my side.

It's a scary thought.

I still feel bored with my life right now. I still feel like I need to do something more than what I'm doing. I am still not sure how. I think I need to start really change how I'm doing life right now. I really enjoy the traditions I've created here, I feel like I belong around the people I'm around, however, I feel like I'm creating to many earthly connections. I don't want to feel bad if God calls me to do something. I'd be sad to leave it all behind, but I need to do what God wants me to do, not what everyone else wants me to do. I'm really fighting that right now. Stop being a people-pleaser, be a God-pleaser. Right?

Right.